What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Randomize