I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
The cabbie told me fat girls shouldn't wear tight clothes, and that he feels bad for the guys that have to be underneath them, especially because their positions are "very limited" and proceeded to ask me if I had a trash can and if I could throw something away for him. Don't worry though, he promised it wasn't anything "bad". He then handed me a tied up grocery bag with a bunch of wadded up Kleenex that weighed about 3 pounds. To answer your question, yes I made it home. Fml
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
