he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
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