she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
