Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
