I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
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