Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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