fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
i caught the condom in my mouth.. dont ask me how
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
Randomize
