How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
No subtext here. People are naked.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
