At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
