Yo dont text me then not text me
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
No. I want him to marry me so we can spend our lives together. I also want a to-scale model of his genitals to mount above my fireplace
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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