She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Yo dont text me then not text me
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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