I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Randomize
