Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
