We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
