Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I don’t care how cute or big a guy is I’m done with drunken hand jobs. It was like I was pulling a nine inch bungee cord for 25 minutes. Now My arm and shoulder is dead
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