So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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