we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Randomize
