at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
He said he had to make up a lie of why he couldnt sleep with her. It must really suck to have a sunburned dick.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize
