and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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