Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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