Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
