I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
Randomize
