She is in my trunk
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
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