...so i touched it.
What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Randomize
