Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Ketchup is God's man juice
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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