you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Randomize
