If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
Randomize