I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
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