Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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