sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
where are you?
Hypothermia
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
Hey its me your friend who impressed the pharmacist by already knowing the generic version of plan b by name
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I think I pulled a boob muscle during phone sex
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
Randomize
