Apparently you make a good broom.
wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Kirsten Dunst is sitting next to me in a bar in NYC
Tell her I want my money back for Elizabethtown.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Randomize
