I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
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