I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
You is good. You is important. You is a slut.
My fuck buddy is great and all, but it gets weird when she gets in arguments with her BF in the driveway
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
I just googled, "what type of cured meat does my face taste like", and one of the top results was, "The Definitive Guide to Bacon." I couldn't make this up if I tried.
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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