Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I was going to make out with him...then he licked syrup off the kitchen floor.
Ya I guess if we compared our actions now with our actions 2 years ago. We are definitely in a constant state of shit showness.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
Randomize
