who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I knew I fucked up when I woke up with the meat scissors in my hand.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
I was in my bathroom taking a shit and my mom just opened the door, walked in, handed me a fudgesicle, and left without saying a word. Yeah. That just happened.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
