opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize