Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
I'm so hungover. I just keep eating the otter pops I'm trying to use to get rid of my hickies.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Randomize
