so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Randomize
