I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.
okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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