There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
