Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
The party was Hollywood themed and I won an oscar for "finest ass in a leading role"
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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