shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
When did we convert life to cartoon?
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Randomize
