Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Randomize
