i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
I'm 99% sure that for 3 hours I thought you were British. We must smoke that again.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
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