I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
