She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
Randomize
