so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
Did I change midway through last night?
Seven times. The most notable outfits were UFC Fighter and Top Hat Viking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Randomize