I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
Ketchup is God's man juice
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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