I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
