For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
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