You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
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