I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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