He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
