hell yes lets make some ravioli
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize
