the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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