forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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