exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
two words: eviction party
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omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
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Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
the people next to us at the red light cheered for you while you puked out the window...
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
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