would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
Randomize
