I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize
