Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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