Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
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