can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
This might be the worst thing you've ever done.
Really? I feel like I've done worse. Guess I gotta step my game up.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
