Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
