My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
I wonder if Barack Obama has ever been this drunk.
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
