Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
