i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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