I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Randomize
